The Return of the Living Blog

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Day 110: Where did the time go? I’ve squandered precious writing months, distracted with so many different things. I’ve even neglected my ant farm. The house is littered with dead plants I never watered. Bill collectors knock on my door day and night, demanding payment. Behind them stand loan sharks, here to collect various gambling debts. Further behind them stand remnants of the writer I once was, focused and disciplined. 

I want to join the 2024 Olympic breakdancing team, but my skills have dwindled since the 1980s. You’re no dancer, they’ll say. What was I ranting about again? I’m tired… so tired, like the Beatles song on the “White Album.” I should make some dinner now. 

– Journal Entry, June 2021 

The Latest

It’s been months since my last blog. In that time, I’ve received scores of letters from readers, demanding to know what’s going on. They ask where I’ve been and when my next blog is coming. “What are we to do without your clever insight?” I only hope that my absence hasn’t created an endless void in their lives. Don’t give up on me just yet. I still have plenty of interesting things to say.

I’ve been working on a manuscript for my new book, a memoir of sorts. I’ve also taken up a new pastime of controlling my anger about the news, our cultural rot, and all the other nonsense going on. I might take up yoga and find inner peace. I’ll avoid negative factors because there’s simply too much of that going around. If I wanted to be annoyed, I’d just watch what’s become of “The Walking Dead” over the years.

Investigative research for my next great short story, column, or blog has taken me to the far reaches of the Sahara Desert, the dizzying heights of the Alps, the Koala-infested wilderness of the Australian Outback, and Detroit. The once thriving city got a bad rap since being depicted as a bankrupt, crime-ridden hellhole in “Robocop” (which was mostly shot in Dallas). Detroit did, in fact, declare Chapter 9 bankruptcy in 2013, but they’re crawling back, as reports suggest.

Rampant mismanagement, incompetency, and corruption have affected countless American cities for a while now. But I’m sure there’s no discernible patterns or ideological strongholds. The mass exodus from cities currently taking place is just a coincidence.

A Whale of a Story

In a rather shocking development, trust in the news media is at an all-time low. “Lobster-gate” is just the latest controversy to bring their already dwindling credibility into question. Well, it’s a controversy to me at this moment, anyway. Imagine, if you will, a recent story about a commercial lobster diver who claimed he was swallowed whole by a humpback whale and spit out.

Breathless articles followed about the supposed incident with declarative headlines like, “Lobster fisherman survives 30 seconds inside whale’s mouth,” “Humpback whale swallows man whole near Cape Cod,” and “Cast of My 600-lb Life questioned in lobster diver swallowing incident,” and so on. Throughout the hype, no one challenged the man’s claim.

The lack of photos or video make it a hard story to swallow. I’m not calling the lobster diver a liar. It’s just entirely plausible that he made the whole thing up. We all know that Pinocchio survived being swallowed by a sperm whale named Monstro in the 1940 Walt Disney animated classic. We saw it in a movie. This other man’s account is nothing short of hearsay.

The media love to site anonymous sources, and they have no problem lying to push an agenda. This is a general statement to back up a general claim. They want to control us, or at the very least, see us controlled by the “leaders” of their choosing. It’s the same way in communist countries, and we’re well on our way there if people don’t wake up.

“Ninja Gaiden” on the Turbografx Mini

I’m not going down without a fight. I’ll be damned to let a bunch of disingenuous talking heads tell me how to live. Apparently, my resistance is of little concern to the powers that be. They’re content on letting social media moguls sell my profile information to advertisers, censor all information outside the arbitrary sphere of acceptance, and gradually control my behavior through some 21st-century Clockwork Orange osmosis.

Self Improvement

Sometimes it seems like there’s not enough time to catch up on everything. I don’t know why. I’m schedule oriented, I even own a planner. What else are we supposed to do? With each passing year, time grows increasingly valuable. We can’t waste a minute, despite the relentless diversions out there. My current work backlog remains a constant reminder on the dangers of procrastination. I even briefly attended my favorite writer’s retreat in New Smyrna to get back on track.

Atlantic Center for the Arts, New Smyrna Beach

Will I ever catch up? Tune in next time to find out. My forthcoming blog will delve into some recent milestones, including the purchase of my first house! These are exciting times, for sure. Anything is possible. With every potential misstep comes another lesson learned and the necessity to push forward. And if I ever survive being swallowed by a whale, I’ll immediately sell the story rights to Disney+ and their subsidiaries in the Chinese Government.

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