Wellness Check

It’s February 2025, how’s everyone doing?

I wanted to deliver hard-hitting, in-depth commentary on our current times, but I don’t think anyone would read it. It’s hard to compete with all the big-league blogs out there.

I asked ChatGPT for advice on expanding my audience and received snarky quips, such as, “Learn to code, bro,” and things like that.

Technology mocks me like some jaded teenage ghost in the machine, but the joke’s on them. By the time AI turns fully sentient, we’ll have moved on to something else, like hologram dating or Mars shuttle bucks.

The average person’s attention span is about 24 hours, reflected in the lifespan of the daily news cycle. Some stories might resonate for a couple of days before fading off the radar completely. Then again, sanctimonious political grandstanding never seems to go away.

My Live-Streamed Life

A consistent social media presence is important to build your audience. Consider it the flipside of the social credit score they have in China. Fortunately, we aren’t penalized by the state for our lack of engagement. We might lose some followers or drift away into obscurity at worst.

I need to post more on my various platforms. The public should know what I’m doing at all times. There should be a 24-hour channel dedicated to my daily adventures, like that one movie about that guy.

I should live-stream where I work, what I’m eating, and all my various indiscretions, uncut and unfiltered. I pitched this same idea to the NSA during their PRISM program scandal, but they said I wasn’t “worth the surveillance.” Assholes.

The Big Game

Like many Americans, I’ll be watching Super Bowl LIX this weekend. If you ever wondered what 59 was in Roman numerals, now you know.

The Kansas City Chiefs will play against the Philadelphia Eagles for the second time in two years. Some have claimed without evidence that the Chiefs cheated against the Buffalo Bills in the playoffs.

Accusations of bad ref calls and genuine disdain for the Chief’s potential third straight Super Bowl win have sown the seeds of discontent. Who will win? Will the halftime show dazzle? Will the commercials suck? Will the game run into overtime?

Will the world open up and swallow us whole? We’ll have to wait and see. Until then, keep the beer on ice and the nachos toasty.

We all know this whole thing is just an excuse to eat lots of pizza.