The Road Ahead

My first blog of the year delves into some hard-hitting questions. Prepare yourself.

It’s time we were honest about the state of the world, our country, the air we breathe, the food we eat, the pajamas we wear (or don’t wear), the smartphones we use, the spam calls we receive, the extra fees for everything, the insistence on tipping, the lousy customer service, the government corruption, the cultural decline, a society on the brink, nuclear Armageddon, political turmoil, and most importantly the lack of heavy metal in our daily lives.

Perpetual conflict is the way of the world. The only question is, what kind of century will this be? What will future generations read about? Do we even have a choice?

2024 is barreling along, and Halloween will be here before we know it. That’s fine, but I’d like to accomplish a few things before donning my Phantom of the Paradise costume and dancing in the graveyard (it’s a tradition).

The Technology

My yearly to-do list is entirely separate from my list of home chores, enemies list, and things to do on a sunny day list. For now, I’m just trying to figure things out.

With all our advanced technology and AI, I’m still taking out the garbage like a sap. In jest, I asked Siri to make dinner the other night. Three minutes later, a pizza was delivered to my door. Clever girl.

Everything is streamed nowadays. We’ll always gravitate toward convenience because it makes life easier. Amazon, Apple, Google, etc. figured this out a long time ago.

A purely streaming-based system puts the consumer at a considerable disadvantage. If you want to find a particular Simpsons episode, namely “Stark Raving Dad” from season three, you’d be hard-pressed. Disney/Fox pulled it due to Michael Jackson voicing one of the characters amid the sexual allegations against him.

Strangely enough, I remember when this aired in 1991. We never knew if Jackson actually voiced the mental patient who believed he was Michael Jackson in the episode, because he was uncredited for some reason.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, another great comedy sitcom, had several episodes removed from streaming due to various oblique offenses.

These are a few examples of many considered unsuitable for today’s enlightened audiences, which brings me to tangible media.

VHS and chill

I’m somewhat of a collector. I’ve got hoarder tendencies, but you won’t find piles of trash bags in my living room, far from it. That all goes in the underground vault. My vast collection of DVDs spans 20+ years. But only recently did I find that several of these same DVDs don’t work very well.

It doesn’t matter how little I’ve played them, several of my DVDs seem to have deteriorated over time. It’s the same with some Blu-rays. They skip or stop playing altogether. Whether I’m using an old DVD player, Blu-ray player, or PS5, the issue remains. I’ve found that VHS is the most reliable format out there.

For those unfamiliar with VHS, videotapes were the primary source of home viewing in the pre-Internet ’80s and ’90s. You’d wait six months to a year after a movie was released in the theater before it hit the home market. You could buy or rent videos. Box art, in that case, was an important selling point. Returning a tape without rewinding it was the height of indecency.

Of course, videotapes deteriorate as well. The picture and sound quality aren’t as nice, but with the right VCR, the same tapes from 30+ years ago play just fine. Seems like we’ve gone full circle.

Streaming leaves us at the mercy of censorship police, DVDs have limited longevity, but videotapes are uniquely durable in our digital age. Meanwhile, I can’t even get Siri to deliver a new VCR!