By Each time I think this website is ready to launch, something else pops up to further delay the process. Do I have enough content? Do the pages look right? Will everyone laugh at me? Should I invest in more gold? You know, the obvious questions we ask ourselves.
True, I’ve had this page for over a year now and have been endlessly retooling it. I can’t understate the unimaginable torment my lack of input has caused the current blogosphere. As I sit in my tiny domicile, luxurious by deployment standards, I ponder the road ahead with both anticipation and anxiety. I’ve rarely posted on social media lately. Granted, I’ve been busy with Army work, but I’ve been downright bad at it. Maybe I just prefer personal, face to face conversations. Yes, that’s it.
I can remember the first cell phone I got. It was an early-model Nokia with a twig-like antenna, large buttons, and a tiny, green dot-matrix screen. We hadn’t even heard of “apps” back then. We were… barbarians. If you had something to say, it’d be relegated to a single text message limited to your contacts, gems like, “Where r u?” “Can’t talk now,” or “WAD%###@.” There was no sharing of thoughts or ideas. In our antiquated time, that was usually television’s job.
I admire active social media users. It is work, after all, and it takes discipline (or neurosis) to constantly update your profile, post pictures, Tweet regularly, and maintain a dignified TikTok presence. A lot of social media is just networking. I loathe sanctimonious rants and virtue signaling, but that’s just me. Today, everyone is an expert on everything, and the only way to fall into their favor is to share their opinion. If you don’t, you’ll find that tolerance is simply a one-way street. This is what I refer to as an “A” dialogue:
You’re wrong, and I’m right.
How dare you share your opinion.
Why aren’t you sharing your opinion now?
Just read, and your opinion offends me. How does that SS uniform feel, Nazi?
So, I’m bad at social media and networking and general. That would explain the crickets that follow my Tweets, or the empty howls… that follow my chirps of enlightenment. In life, there’s always room for improvement. Most of us our fortunate enough to learn from our mistakes and better ourselves. Of course when we don’t, we’re doomed to reach a climactic breakdown, Citizen Kane style. My life is filled with daily To-Do lists moderately achieved and bananas never eaten in time before they spoil.
I wrote a blog about a crappy movie I made some years ago. I wanted to explore the underlying fear of facing past failures. I think nothing petrifies writers more than the fear of lacking talent. What makes a good writer? I think we can answer that by who we read and why. Ernest Hemingway, for instance, elevates consciousness in his writing. Joan Didion too.
I grew up reading Stephen King, Tom Clancy, and True Crime books. Before that, there was those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books and Judy Blume. I guess it’s good that I had read at all. Video games were ubiquitous and alluring back then for a teenage boy in the 1990s. It was my greatest diversion. Maybe I’ll blog about the best NES games, favorite artificial sweeteners, or top ten Fresh Prince episodes. The possibilities of this “web blog” thing are limitless.
Remember Beavis and Butthead? I watched some episodes the other day for the first time in over twenty years. The animation is actually better than I remember. I guess this is what happens when your own country descends into chaos and near collapse. You burrow yourself inside a time capsule. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I actually prefer the show without music video cutaways, which seemed more of a way to pad the show into a thirty-minute time slot. Actually, that was exactly what it was.
Beavis and Butthead was hugely controversial (and popular) when it came out in the 90s, just like The Simpsons, Ren & Stimpy, and Mortal Kombat. These things were considered edgy, dangerous, and were equally embraced by the youth back then. What’s controversial today? Well in a twist of irony, shows like Monty Python, classic Disney movies, and everything, really. Everything we once enjoyed. Things are “problematic” today because the people condemning them can’t come up with anything better (hipster millennial types mostly and the writers at Salon magazine). They can’t appreciate a damn thing. They’ve had life handed to them on a silver platter, and–I promised I wouldn’t rant. I’m really showing my age: six hundred AND twenty.
That’s not to say there’s shortage of quality comedy today. South Park (when it’s on) remains relevant, thanks to its consistently sharp satire. The same sadly can’t be said about The Simpsons, which at one time was the greatest television show ever made, in my humble opinion. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has sustained its edge and hilarity for almost fifteen years now, though it has been hit-or-miss lately.
What We Do in the Shadows, based off the mockumentary of the same name, is not only hilariously genius, it’s extremely well-made with top-notch set design, costumes, and special effects. It might just be the funniest TV show out there, if TV is even still a thing. They should put Night Court on Netflix. I loved that show growing up.
In closing, my website is finally at the point where I think I can share it or at least let people know it’s out there. I feel like a restaurant owner on opening day. Will they come? I guess only Kevin Costner knows for sure.
